Random Life Update

[miss_ingno]

Writing

Been pretty successful in writing for June so far! Set myself a monthly goal of 16,666 words (520 words a day-ish) after May's 15k turned out too easy. Didn't go for 20k because June is promising to be more busy... china_shop hosting the Write Every Day challenge has been helping keeping me accountable!

Just when I said "no more pantsing for me" of course the Guardian Bingo's bonus prompt comes and crashes my resolution immediately 😂 Dragon is a great prompt (and makes sense with the dragon boat festival!), and I'm lucky I had a vague idea for dragon!Shen Wei already (and playing with the idea of Dragon City being named after him). A Long Night In Longcheng just hit 5k today and is nearly done, I really wanna post it soon. It's also like. 69% smut lol. Which was not my original intention but here we are I guess.

The Da Qing coda I signed up for is done, I'm just looking for a proper title now. Considering writing a quick second coda for a later episode <.< there's still spots left...

Dancing

I was struggling most of last week - my stamina hadn't quite recovered from the health issues yet, and my motivation was kinda. Shot. I ended up just doing my back and abs exercises, or just a short 10-20min dance + exercises a lot. I kept reshuffling my dance playlist, trying to figure out how to keep myself motivated.

Finally switched my non-dance listening off k-pop and back to my German metal faves (plus some Nightwish), that seems to have helped. Also having the new choreographies up first again helps too, even though I'm still constantly reshuffling which of the three I want to be learning (Ponzona, Why Not, and HIP), and definitely added "I'm a B" back in for last reserves motivation. Still flip-flopping on Odd Eye and You & I on 75% or 100%, kinda not in the right mood for them rn? Oh well. (Probably for the best since I strained something during my last Odd Eye practice.)

Considering finally getting a tripod for filming purposes, to give myself renewed motivation to polish up on all these choreos.

Listening

Really needed a new podcast to listen to and got impatient with You're Wrong About and Maintainance Phase not updating more often (lmao they already update a lot, I just needed a diversion and ran out of episodes :'D) Got all caught up on Printrun, too. Ended up listening to a couple episodes of You Are Good (previously known as Why Are Dads), which was okay for the couple movies I knew but didn't keep my interest for long. It *did* remind me of Dana Schwartz' podcast Noble Blood however, which was exactly what I needed. It discusses historical figures, their lives and their choices with a lot of empathy and in an almost fictionalized tone, with Dana Schwartz providing dramatic readings, but it usually points out pretty well what the facts are and what is speculation. If my history class had been like this, I would've probably been much more invested!

Watching

• Watched 长公主在上 - Eldest Princess On Top on trobadora's recommendation. Generally enjoyed it, though there were a couple embarassment squick moments. The short format makes it interesting and allows breaks, though some cuts between episodes were a bit jumpy imo. A decent and fun story that was well worth the hour or so it took to watch! The epilogues definitely made me snort.


• Started on Detective L because Bai Yu is pretty. Haven't gotten through the first episode yet because his first meeting with Qin Xiaoman is *awkward*. Will push through soon though because I'm very interested in what I've heard about their dynamic!

Pandemic

I am /so/ sick and tired of the lack of mask requirements already. I've already been told, no less than three times, how "brave" and "forbearing" I am for wearing a mask at my cashier sidejob, despite the transparent plastic walls that are supposedly enough protections... which have giant holes in it so the bigger wares can be passed through. Literally, when I'm sitting, the gaps go up to my chin and I am /tall/, both in general and torso-wise. Twice my corona warn app went off, and I learnt later at the office via overhearing that both cases were on staff, but only the office staff was tested. The cashiers weren't informed.

My own voluntary test came back negative, thank god, but it's hard to tell because it's not nearly sensitive enough for the Omicron variants. And I have the same symptoms I would get from the virus anyway, thanks to my MCAS which expresses as allergy symptoms in most. For me this is usually a congested nose, sore throat, swollen eyes, rashes and gastrointestinal issues.

Medical Concerns

I really need to be more strict with my diet to get back off symptom-ville. If anything, it'll make my anxiety stress die down a little more ^^" Although Sunday's my brother's birthday, so I'm gonna make exceptions for food again regardless... sometimes I just wish there was a pill I could take that would make all the symptoms go away, like lactaid for lactose intolerant peeps *sighs*

Today was my last physio appointment, and honestly? If they'd all gone like today's I would leave with a lot less mixed feelings re: my physiotherapist. Next time I have an issue, I'm going back to the "old" one, even though all the practitioners I knew from my '17 back surgery have moved elsewhere since. Anyway, today we actually did exercises with the equipment that I can't easily replicate at home that help with my lumbar muscles, which should hopefully pre-empt me dislocating my... I think the English word is pelvis? I dislocated my ilio-sacral joint while dancing (the reason I'm only doing the PTT choreo in the beginning of my exercise regiment now, because I get sloppy, and the sloppy low-drop is what set me up for dislocation). A similar-ish move in Odd Eye strained something in the area yesterday too, I should really be more careful about dancing when tired and sweaty. The exercises today helped tho so 🤞

Mental Health

I really need to get around to setting up an ADHD testing because I'm pretty sure I don't have anxiety and I *do* have executive dysfunction to some degree. My old therapist assigned that symptom to the depression I was diagnosed with at that point, which was solved by discovering my vitamin and mineral deficits caused by the MCAS. So it's not that it wasn't /real/ but it's not something I'll have to deal with long-term if I stay on top of my diet. And while depression and anxiety are very comorbid and overlapping in symptoms, I'm. Actually more and more convinced that I don't have anxiety, I have high expectations of myself and go into a disappointment spiral when I can't meet those to my satisfaction because I couldn't get started. Which. Executive dysfunction.

And honestly if it turns out it isn't ADHD, or I don't react well to the meds, then okay. At this point, just knowing would bring me some piece of mind. Definitely want to know *before* I throw myself into a master's program and set myself up for failure tho :')

Comments

[trobadora]

Glad the writing is going well, and I'm looking forward to Dragon Shen Wei! :D

Also yay for 长公主在上, I'm glad you enjoyed it! The format just lets them focus on the important moments, and that's really fascinating, but damn, I wish there was more.

I hope you'll enjoy Detective L as well. I don't know how far into it you are, but the first case already totally won me over. And yes, Bai Yu is very pretty in it! :D

Twice my corona warn app went off, and I learnt later at the office via overhearing that both cases were on staff, but only the office staff was tested. The cashiers weren't informed.

Ugh, that sucks so much! *hugs*

[miss_ingno]

It's very fluff and smut vibes over here in dragon town xD

I agree, I wish there was more too! Some moments felt kinda cut short, like they could've used some breathing room for better impact. I love that the Eldest Princess was so clever and scheming, and the fealty vibes? off the charts *fans self*

Not very far into Detective L yet! Life kinda got in the way :'D I haven't actually gotten to the first case yet lol Looking more forward to it now tho!

*hugs*

[trobadora]

YES, all the fealty vibes are so good! What really got me was when Gu Xuanqing, after bringing the Emperor the info he'd gathered, decided to go back to her even though he thought she was corrupt! And Li Yunzhen's scheming is so clever and has been going for so long, I really wanted to know more about how she pulled it all off. Seriously, despite being majorly ship-focused they managed to pack so much plot into one hour, they definitely had material for a full-length drama.

[miss_ingno]

YES!!! And then they made it seem like the Emperor was right for his warning?? That she really had found him a traitor and I just sat there going "this has to be a ruse. Right? She is too clever to just. think that's it. She knows there's more to this. Doesn't she?" the entire short episode :'D

Lots of intrigue! Which is definitely what sold me, I love layered agendas and motivations :3c (I do think the characterization suffered a little under the shortness of the drama, too, because while they managed to stuff in that what we see most of the time is a mask and there's a truth underneath, it didn't really come up again until the end. I think a reminder would have been useful, and a moment of 'crack in the facade' would've been very artful, but considering how much they achieved in that little time? Yeah, fair play.)

[trobadora]

And then they made it seem like the Emperor was right for his warning?? That she really had found him a traitor and I just sat there going "this has to be a ruse. Right? She is too clever to just. think that's it. She knows there's more to this. Doesn't she?" the entire short episode :'D

Haha, yeah, there's SO much going on and I kept going "does she know? WHAT does she know? where is this going?????"

(And I love that one of the extras implies she knew about him all along! Which is fascinating in relation to her decisions about him ...)

I do think the characterization suffered a little under the shortness of the drama, too, because while they managed to stuff in that what we see most of the time is a mask and there's a truth underneath, it didn't really come up again until the end.

Yeah, they could have done a LOT more with that if they'd had more time. They did what they could with what space they had, but it's all so compressed, there sis so much more they could have done ... And it's not even just small moments or nuances - I keep thinking I really wanted to see the moment when he realises what she's really been up to. I can't believe they denied us that! *flails*

[miss_ingno]

And it's not even just small moments or nuances - I keep thinking I really wanted to see the moment when he realises what she's really been up to. I can't believe they denied us that! *flails*

True! I think that's what made some of those skips between episodes feel so jarring, aside from the sudden change in vibe.

(It does leave a lot of space for potential fic though <.< *fingers crossed*)

[trobadora]

I assume one reason they skipped the revelation scene is because they wanted to have a fake-out for the final confrontation, soi it might have been a somewhat jarring skip anyway, but even so there should have been a flashback, dammit!

Very true about fic, though. There is SO much room for fic here! I'm definitely going to be requesting this in exchanges. Probably starting with requesting Li Yunzhen in everywoman, even! Not that there's likely to be anyone else who even knows this, but I can try. *g*

[miss_ingno]

Fair I guess XD but yeah, I feel like small moments like that could've been a nice addition. And yet it was absolutely worth a watch for what it is :D

Good luck with that! lmao I haven't heard of it before but I'm relatively new to dw so I might check it out <.< (I really should stop trying to overcomit but it's fun to be in fandom and participate in events...)

[trobadora]

It's an AO3 exchange focused on female characters, and I've been doing it for years - very fun if that's your thing! But yeah, I feel you on the "want to do ALL the things" thing ...

[miss_ingno]

It does sound awesome! Maybe next year when I have more time to plan it into my schedule 👀

[velithya]

Congratulations on posting your dragon fic! *pompoms* mine is still languishing... hopefully I can beat it into shape soon! ^^;;;;

> despite the transparent plastic walls that are supposedly enough protections... which have giant holes in it so the bigger wares can be passed through

Do people... still not realise... that covid is airborne?? Like that messaging went out last year??? half height perspex might make people feel better but unless it's airtight it won't actually reduce transmission OTL

I'm thankful that my workplace is still under mask mandate requirements but I'll definitely still be wearing one even once the mandate goes away!

Hopefully you can continue to test negative *crosses fingers*

Additude is a great resource for ADHD type info and self-testing - my household found this article particularly enlightening about specific symptoms that are often overlooked, if you haven't come across it before!

Good luck getting appropriate testing and treatment! AD(H)D makes study really incredible difficult and medication can be a lifesaver in terms of managing executive function and concentration while studying so I definitely hope you can get things sorted out before then ♥

[miss_ingno]

Thank you for the links! Marked them for later reading <3 (I definitely have some forms of rejection sensitivity lol it's why I was leaning towards an anxiety diagnosis for a while)

I'm thankful that my workplace is still under mask mandate requirements

Mood. I preferred working at the clinic over winter, too, we had mask requirements for staff and patients + regular testing happening. It just. Made me feel safer, and those who caught the infection were promptly quarantined and the reach of potential contacts limited. It meant I heard about positive cases which I had contact with more often so that part was anxiety-inducing, but in hindsight it just meant they were /caught/ before they could spreed >.<

Thankfully I'm not back on shift until next Friday so I have 5 days of freedom :'D

Yeah, hoping to get that diagnosis and possibly test meds before studying needs to start :') executive dysfunction is an issue I've been struggling with for the last decade, if not longer. But interactions with HIT and MCAS in particular are also an issue so... we'll see. Fingers crossed <3

[velithya]

I'm not looking forward to when the mask mandate goes away completely, particularly since IDK how much lower our daily case numbers are expected to get? We're down to 5-7k daily but as I understand it that could trail off quite slowly so we could be in this position for months :|
But I think the public health measures are being eased in line with easing pressure on our hospital system so they're likely to remove the mask mandate once they think the hospitals can handle the additional spike in cases that would trigger... :|
ANYWAY-

I hope your numbers aren't too bad - we don't get too much news about case numbers from other countries here so IDK what your rates are like. I hope you're still able to keep safe and people around you are being sensible! *crosses fingers*

[miss_ingno]

I mean, we have 26.8 million cases in Germany currently, and something like 400 new cases this week in my particulary region, and that's only the ones that got caught/registered :') I feel like a clown some days because everyone's pretending things are juuuust fiiiiine. And I see how every week, fewer employees and customers are wearing masks when going about, the mask mandate was revoke like a month ago, so people are getting used to not wearing them more and more RIP

(I've never been a fan of the 'as long as we got enough space in the hospitals we can risk getting more infections' rhetoric, like no thanks? No infections ideally??)

anyway here's to hoping things get better soon <3